Dietary Habits of a Highly Defective Young Adult

Tea.

Coffee.

Coffee with tea bags in it.

Toast with honey on it.

Lean Cuisines.

Spaghetti. 

Tea.

Once upon a time on a beautifully manicured lawn

That man was once a Marine but not really he just has a crew cut. Now he mows his lawn all day and wastes good, fresh, clean, water by dumping it onto his lawn. You know that he suffers from erectile dysfunction because his lawn is his life, is his wife. In some countries they have no clean water and they get sick all the time from bacterium and bugs. In this country we pump the water right into our citizens' homes and allow them to dump it onto the dirt in front of said homes just so that they can feel better about their flaccid penises and their effeminate sons. Life, liberty, and lawn-care.